The Rules: #2 Don't Fuck Around

2. Don't fuck around
i) Don't break the code

This is the "do unto others.." rule. Ideally, if you don't fuck around, then you will not be fucked with in return. As we all know karma can be a bitch, and none of us want to be staring at the business end of a karmic hissy fit. I understand that sometimes the urge to mess with people is tempting, in fact it can be downright overwhelming, but we must resist. It can be boring, I won't lie, but in the end when your shit isn't falling apart because of some he said/she said silliness you will be grateful. This rule applies to many real life scenarios. Take a furnace for example. Your world is spinning comfortably round and round, and then your furnace conks and you are very cold. You might think you can get in there and fix it right up, but chances are pretty good that you are in fact in over your head. If you are a general kinda person like myself, with no furnace based training, it is in your best interest not to fuck around - your house might explode. The appendage on Rule 2 was initially thought to be obvious, but over the last few years I have noticed that many people are totally ignorant to The Code. The Code started as a guy thing, a code of conduct if you will, passed from father to son for generations. However, I think it's time to put it out there for all the sexes to see. For the sake of authenticity I will keep it in guyspeak.

The Code

- Do not hit on or sleep with your buddy's girlfriend or mom.
- If your friend and his girlfriend were at all serious and have since broken up, she is off limits. Not necessarily forever, but for a long, long time and she is not to be persued without his ok.
- Do not "cock block", it is not funny. Unless it is clearly for your friend's own good, then and only then is it allowed.
- Do not leave a drowning man at the bar/party/wherever. If he is drunk enough to puke or fight he needs a babysitter.
- If your friend is getting his ass kicked you are under obligation to help in whatever way you can.
- If you are a wing man, know your role.
- If a friend is hurting in some emotional way you must take him out, get him drunk and show him a good time. He may not have a good time, but one needs to be shown to him.

That's just a quick run down of The Code as it has been explained to me. It is common sense, just like "don't fuck around" but I thought it needed to be spelled out. Rule 3 is on it's way. Same bat-time, same bat-channel. Only this one has a Kenny Rogers reference...